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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 4, 2012 12:00am-1:05am PST

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and the dap kings. and the dap kings.
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>> jimmy: hi with a word about the lg cinema tlooed tv to demonstrate, the new best seller kaufl duty black ops ii who else to tell us about it but a black operative. >> guillermo: call me my glblac
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op dumb ass. >> jimmy: what is it? >> guillermo: black ops guillermo. >> guillermo: it's awesome. play in 3-d on the lg 3-d feel like you're part of the action. i got to go here. sir, take over. i got an important black ops mission. >> jimmy: yeah, black ops mission to go on? i think this -- [ laughter ] it's over here. the rope. [ laughter ] don't worry, we'll wait. you got to pull with your hafrms use your legs, your knees, too. use the door instead. probably a good idea. [ applause ] >> call of duty in 3-d, a whole new level with lg.
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jimmy kimmel is back in two minutes with howard stern, tracy morgan and music from sharon jones and the dap kings. [ female announcer ] just for these hectic holidays, mccafé brings you rich peppermint mocha and peppermint hot chocolate. the simple joy of unwinding.
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♪ ♪ this holiday you'll find 24 exceptional designers at prices that will amaze. exclusively at neiman marcus and target from december 1st. so all of you do. yes, for sure. now what's better? being able to shoot two lasers out of both of your eyes at the same time or just one laser out of one eye? [ all kids ] two! [ moderator ] okay, why? if it's just one beam -- okay, it does a little bit of damage. two beams -- it will make something explode! and that's more fun? yeah! and it's more powerful you're saying? yeah! [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. doing two things at once is better. and only at&t's network lets you talk and surf
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on your iphone 5. ♪ >> dicky: from brooklyn, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, howard stern. tracy morgan. and music from sharon jones & the dap-kings with cleto and the cletones. and now, what's your problem? here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow.
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thank you. appreciate it. that's very nice of you. thank you so much. relax. i'm jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you very much. welcome. i'm jimmy. i was born in bay ridge. i grew up in mill basin. and tonight i have returned to save my people from the storm. [ laughter and applause ] thank you for ignoring the local authorities to be here tonight for our first show from the harvey theater at the brooklyn academy of music. it's a beautiful theater. mayor bloomberg will be here shortly to have you arrested.
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a lot has changed since i lived in brooklyn. last time i was here, i don't remember a hurricane trying to murder me. we were supposed to start our week of shows last night but we couldn't because of hurricane sandy. anyone want to join a motorcycle gang and take over the streets? after the show. more than 8 million people lost power last night which means no one's watching right now. [ laughter ] new jersey got the worst of it. 60% of the state of new jersey lost power. it's funny when i got here on friday, everyone i met, every single person said not to worry about the hurricane at all, that's when i knew we were in a lot of trouble. almost everyone i talked to sounded like this guy out in long island named mike. >> we actually found a guy who is awake and alert and waiting to ride out the storm. mike up in the window here above us. mike, you going to ride out the storm from here? >> hell, yeah i'm riding it out,
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man. i'm not going to work today, i'm staying here. >> all right. you're going to stick it out up there. you have water and other supplies? >> yeah, probably. got peanut butter, jelly, candy. i'm good. >> jimmy: all of the food groups. i got pez dispensers, i'm all right. i watched a lot of storm coverage over the last couple of days. i think i'm a meteorologist now. i spent 36 hours watching weather reporters standing in water while telling us not to stand in water. mostly what they seemed to be focused on was hanging on to their hats. >> not most flattering appearance. with the wind slapping in my face. >> getting windy, starting to feel heavy gusts. >> nypd is out here. >> the wind picking up here. >> very different scene here in ocean city. >> good morning, michael and darlene. conditions out here are really worsening. >> video rolling but right here this house on the corner.
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they don't know whether they made it out safely. thank you, ma'am, my hat. >> the wind when i turn this direction, you can see, i lose my hat. >> you have to hold on to your hat. >> well, the problem was, my hat just flew off. you guys caught me running to the live truck to try to get my other hat because it flew into this lovely puddle. >> this wind and forget the hat. can i give this hat? that's not going to work. >> jimmy: might be time for weather people to switch to beanies. i, by the way, i listened to the people who told us to seek shelter and stay inside. when i hear the world shelter, i run. i'm not adventurous. i stayed in my hotel room, drank the bottles of shampoo and passed out. i watched local news. every time i watched tv i saw governor christie looking like grimace. yelling at everyone. i want one of the governor chris christie fleece zip-ups.
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i don't know if they sell them but i want one. governor christie does a great job with the press conferences. governor cuomo does, too. the best is probably mayor bloomberg. very under control. hard to be boring in the middle of a disaster but somehow mayor bloomberg manages to do it. those who didn't get to see the local coverage, the mayor has a woman that stands next to him, two women, actually. even though she doesn't speak a word she has a lot more personality than he does. >> people will understand it's in their interest to get out and a lot of people say oh, well, i'll tough it out and down the road you can't tough it out and you have to have the responders -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hard to tell where the sign language ends and interpretive dance begins. see if we can get her on the show tomorrow night. i would like her to sign the monologue along with me.
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[ cheers and applause ] the worst of the hurricane fortunately seems to be behind us. water levels will rise even more tonight when the tide comes in, fortunately i have the most adorable flotation device of all and his name is guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] where is he? he's real. welcome to brooklyn, guillermo. are you having fun so far? >> guillermo: forget about it. >> jimmy: i've already forgotten. you see mayor bloomberg speak spanish last night? this was good. here's mayor bloomberg, en espanol. [ speaking spanish ]
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>> jimmy: how did he do? >> guillermo: terrible. >> jimmy: even the sign language woman was like the hell with it. this is pretty great, cnn sent ali velshi to atlantic city. why? he's a business correspondent. i guess they don't like him. he was in the middle of the street and unwittingly provided us with tonight's edition of "behind the news." >> one hour from now they want everybody who doesn't have a reason to be outside inside their homes. this is a mayor who said a number of people haven't left. that worries them but at this point if you haven't left -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: hurricane backup dancers. congratulations. i think the lesson there is, only risk your life when it's hilarious.
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watching on a great night, two of the greatest guests in talk show history, howard stern and tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ] and a fantastic band, brooklyn's own sharon jones and the dap kings are here with us tonight. it's been a lot of fun, even with the rain, fun to be here this week, walking around brooklyn, marveling at the artisanal cheese shops. there are many of them. a lot of family still leaves here. my uncles live here. how many people in this room are my uncle tony? i have morrelltie relatives at show tonight than will be at my funeral, which is kind of depressing. i've been feeling nostalgic. i thought it would be fun to visit my old neighborhood and my old house. i haven't been there for years. indulge me and my pal, guillermo on a stroll down memory lane.
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♪ welcome back ♪ welcome welcome back welcome back ♪ >> jimmy: you wanted to see where i grew up? >> guillermo: not really. >> jimmy: you're going to see it anyway. when i was a kid when had a big wheel. you know what it is? has a big wheel in the front and two little wheels in the back. >> guillermo: like this one? >> jimmy: yeah. just like these. ♪ ♪ got to get back in time >> jimmy: fun, right? >> guillermo: i think my belly is too big and my legs are too short. >> jimmy: i think that is a safe assessment. this is my friend todd's house. let's pull over in here. ♪ back in time >> jimmy: don't worry, nobody ever steals anything in brooklyn. >> guillermo: no? >> jimmy: todd was my best friend on the block. look at this. >> jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: todd? how you doing? good to see you, too, how are
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you? this is my friend, guillermo. >> guillermo: nice to meet you. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> all right. >> so good to see you. >> jimmy: good to see you, too. >> oh, my god. >> this is mom and dad. >> jimmy: my mom and dad. >> these are cakes -- >> jimmy: my mother made this cake for todd. she still makes cakes. that's me and my sister, jill. you remember when you eat dinner over here at your parents' and and then eat dinner at our house also. >> i remember when you were running from the bees in the backyard. >> jimmy: you remember that? >> like it was yesterday. >> are you kidding? >> jimmy: i remember that so vividly, too. we had a disk gun and shot these little colored disks and they flew into the neighbors' yard and my sister, jill, todd and i climbed over the fence to get the disks. as i recall there was an old
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steak, somebody threw a piece of meat in the backyard and yellow jackets all over it. and we got swarmed and attacked by the yellow jackets. i got 12 bee stings. >> right -- >> my uncle tony filled a tub with mud and we're sitting naked in the tub covered with mud and i think that was supposed to draw out stingers. i still don't like bees. >> i don't like to sit outside. >> jimmy: i'm thinking of having myself laminated. now, i think it was somewhere around here, maybe right here in front of your house, that you remember that bully, tommy black? >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: you remember you used to yell "the black is coming" as a warning. he would grab us by the back of the hair and grind our faces into the ground. >> guillermo: wow. >> jimmy: you know who this is?
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>> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: that's tommy black. >> guillermo: tommy black? wow. why you did that? why did rub the face in the cement? >> just seemed like the right thing to do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it wasn't the right thing to do, it was mean, to me and todd. >> no, i repented since then. >> jimmy: you have? >> yes. and being an altar boy like you were, helped me through that process. >> jimmy: tommy, i forgive you. what about you, todd, do you forgive him? >> yes, definitely. >> jimmy: you do? >> guillermo: give him a hug. >> jimmy: all right, let's all have a hug here. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is disappointing. this used to be a big, vacant lot with big trees and bigger kids had a clubhouse in this lot, and we would break into it and we would steal dirty magazines like "playboy" and
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that sort of things. do you remember that? >> i remember that. >> jimmy: look at this. some of the magazines are still here. i remember we got a copy of "oui." i thought it was pronounced "oy." a lot of memories. i became a man in this lot. you want to see my old house? >> guillermo: let's go. >> jimmy: all right. it's right over here. todd, are you coming? >> i'll catch up with you guys later. >> jimmy: okay. >> guillermo: todd hasn't changed at all, huh? >> jimmy: no, not at all. this is it, my house. >> guillermo: wow. >> jimmy: was my house. i almost just walked in. >> hello. >> jimmy: what's happening? >> how are you? >> jimmy: how you doing? i'm jimmy. this is guillermo. >> carmine. this is my dad, vinnie. >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. how you doing? we had the tv here. eventually it broke. was this wall a little more closed off at one time? this was my room. and i had planets and stars on
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the ceiling in here and i painted a mural of batman on the closet door. what happened to the closet? >> turned it into a shower. >> jimmy: we had a table and chairs here and have breakfast. wow, this basement is very different than when i lived here. when i was -- hello, how you doing? how many people live in this house? [ laughter ] it's like a clown car. what are you cooking, carmine? >> for dinner, we'll have -- i hear you're fan of a good sauce. >> jimmy: we called it gravy always. >> gravy's brown, jimmy. >> jimmy: things have changed here in brooklyn. >> guillermo: it's nice to be italian. >> jimmy: yeah, it is nice. >> guillermo: they have good food. >> mozzarella. >> mozzarella. >> guillermo: forget about it! >> welcome these new friends and
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associates let's call them, welcome. >> jimmy: thank you. salud. thank you for having us. i have to say, everybody is very polite. it would make me feel more comfortable if everyone was yelling at each other. that's what happens at our house. >> are you serious? you're wearing that hair like that? >> jimmy: troy polamalu over here. >> you are not being serious right now! >> sit down! >> jimmy: this is the house i remember. ♪ welcome back, welcome back [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tommy black! why i don't wear underwear. thanks to the family for letting us visit. sorry we ate your food. we have a great show. tracy morgan is here.
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we have music from sharon jones and the dap kings. and we'll be right back with the great and powerful howard stern. so stick around.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to our first night at the harvey theater in the brooklyn academy of music. tonight on the program a gale force wind of a man whose face and stomach you can see every thursday night on "30 rock," tracy morgan is here. and then a great live band with music from this album called "soul time!" from brooklyn, new york, sharon jones and the dap kings. tomorrow night on halloween,
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david letterman will be here and music from vampire weekend, too. join us then. we've had a tumultuous few days here and i'd like to thank everyone who braved the storm to get here and to get us on the air. [ cheers and applause ] but, what we've been through is nothing compared to a lot of people, homes have been damaged, lives have been lost. families have been displaced. and if you'd like to help a great way to do that is to make a donation to the american red cross. you can do that on the web at redcross.org or you can text "redcross" to 90999, i promise they will spend it well. our first guest tonight is one of the greatest broadcasters who ever lived. if you are fortunate enough to have sirius xm radio you can hear him every morning and watch him on demand on howard tv, please welcome the king of all media, howard stern. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> what an exciting day. this is excitement. >> jimmy: this is exciting. >> i got to first of all, jimmy, i have to compliment you, that bit when you went back to brooklyn, that wasn't too long at all. i was riveted. didn't fall asleep at all. fantastic. >> jimmy: thank you for that compliment. >> oh, we make sauce and make friends. aren't you glad you came tonight? aren't you glad you braved the elements. you look terrific, wearing a suit. when jimmy started his show many years ago he tried wearing t-shirts to be one of us and he
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looked like a big slob so they put him in a nice jacket, he looks good, i'm happy to be here in brooklyn. >> jimmy: i'm happy to have you here. you been on the show a couple of times before from l.a. >> i've been on the show, i always did it on satellite and it bombed horribly, it was your idea. >> jimmy: it did not bomb horribly. >> it was horrible. it didn't work. it's hard to communicate over a satellite. i wanted to see you face to face and now i'm here and it's going horribly again. really, don't expect too much entertainment tonight. i've been up since 4:00 in the morning, did my radio show and begging jimmy to cancel the show. >> jimmy: you were. >> absolutely -- shut up. look. i was trying to get here and all of the traffic lights are dead. the power is out, this is no joke. i'm driving along and i'm trying to get here. why am i trying to be here tonight? this stupid show is on at 5 after 12. not even the 11:30 show.
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>> what is it 12:00? on the dot. wow. they moved it from 12:05 to 12:00. and you would think jimmy would be furious, the way abc has been treating him. hi, guys, how are you? nobody knows your name. great band. like 57 bands in late night and no one cares about any of you. what is that song you play when i came out? didn't even recognize. >> your theme song. >> keep practicing. they are great. that's a great band. i love those guys. >> jimmy: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> great. i got up early to come on the show and i was hoping you would cancel. >> jimmy: i know you were. >> you canceled last night, i was like thank god. >> jimmy: every time i ask you, happens with every appearance you do, you say yes and you complain the whole week leading up to it. >> i'm miserable. i got to tell you, the whole week you hear jimmy carrying on about his girlfriend david letterman. >> jimmy: you are jealous. >> i'm not jealous. you and i happen to be good
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friends, we hang out at each other's homes. >> jimmy: i'm your best friend. >> you're my only friend. this show is a family affair. jimmy's parents back in my dressing room. i'm trying to prepare for the show and who is there, jimmy's cousin sal, his parents, and i'm like what is this? i'm trying to work. >> jimmy: when i came in to say hello after my parents left and i caught you pureling after you touched my parents. >> yeah. [ laughter and applause ] his father shook my hand i'm like, i don't know you. your jimmy's father, who cares. >> jimmy: how are your parents? >> they're great. their power is out, my mother called me immediately. the power is out, the power is out! i'm like okay what should i do? we have a cell phone. gave them a cell phone and they're calling me. give me the number i'll call you back. no, we're conserving the power. my mother thinks she's in guam.
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like the power will be out -- the power will be back tomorrow or the next day. >> jimmy: you didn't send the howard stern helicopter to airlift them out? >> you nervous about 11:30? >> jimmy: i'm more nervous about having you here. it's weird. we're friends but it's -- >> who is the better guest me or letterman? >> jimmy: i'll let you know. >> more excited about letterman? >> jimmy: oh, definitely. >> i know that's true. you know what it is? familiarity breeds contempt. >> jimmy: it's true. >> it's true. i used to be jimmy's idol, every interview, howard stern is my hero. i listened to him growing up in brooklyn. like he grew up in brooklyn. he was 5 when he left! we're back here, jimmy grew up in brooklyn. he's coming home. he was 5 years old. [ laughter ] a nightmare, this whole thing, this whole experiment. >> jimmy: before you came out i shook hands where everyone in the section and i did not purel before i touched you. >> you are a brave man. jimmy, i know, is nervous about
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the big interview with letterman tomorrow. >> jimmy: i am. >> look, the big question is, when he was scoring with all those interns -- [ laughter ] -- right? don't you want to hear that? [ cheers and applause ] letterman is going to come out here, this is your big moment, you're going to be aroused, your hero will sit down and dave will sit there and you're going to sit there and everybody is going to say is jimmy going to ask him about screwing all those interns? >> jimmy: jimmy is not going to ask him about that, of course he's not. >> forget it. i don't know why he's coming on your show. >> jimmy: i don't know why either. >> it makes no sense. the two of them will be competitors. in radio i looked at anybody up against me at 6:00 in the morning -- >> jimmy: you are a very sick man. >> i am. you got to be sick to win. don't you want to win, don't you want to beat letterman into the ground? instead you're welcoming him. beat him in the ground. he's an old man, he's ready to go down. you're going to work hard, do your thing. i'm proud of you.
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>> jimmy: therapy has been working for you. let me ask about your beautiful, angel wife, beth. >> backstage with your beautiful fiancee. >> jimmy: that is right. >> he's marrying a saint, a beautiful woman, molly. i love her. she writes all of the funny stuff. she didn't write the piece where he goes back to brooklyn and sits there. she wrote the funny stuff in the monologue and she's beautiful, gorgeous woman and you'll have a big wedding. you know beth and i actually believed that we would be in the wedding party but that we would actually be -- >> jimmy: in the wedding party. >> i would be your best man. i know it's one your 50,000 cousins that you support. [ laughter ] supports his whole family. >> jimmy: after this outpouring of affection why wouldn't i have you? best man and maid of honor. >> you're sweating from your lip, you're disgusting. >> jimmy: we'll got to break. i'll mop myself off. we'll come back. howard stern is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> and we're back. thank you so much. wonderful to be here tonight. >> i love it. >> jimmy: so great to be here with you. >> i took over the chair in the middle of the show. i'm having a good time. i like it here in brooklyn. it's fun. >> jimmy: it is. >> a lot of degenerates. >> jimmy: it's not bad, great place. >> i love brooklyn very much. brooklyn's been very good to me. in my radio career, new york embraced me. you look at the face how could anybody embrace me, only people in brooklyn could embrace this face. >> jimmy: one person embraced you above all, mary ann from brooklyn is there. >> jimmy: she's been sleeping on the doorstep waiting for you. >> she's a raving lunatic. you want to talk about abc investing a lot of money on you, putting you on at 11:30 at night. big move. do you anticipate beating jay leno at least?
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taking him down? where do you think you'll end up at 11:30, what's the game plan? >> jimmy: i really don't know. i have no idea. >> that's great. you're going places. >> jimmy: i want to ask you, this is your moment, your hour here and i want to ask you about your -- whenever there is a disaster, in times of strife -- >> everywhere i work, in radio i worked in toilet holes, the worst radio stations, lowest radio stations, lowest rated. there would be four rock stations in town and i would be on the lowest rated one. i would go to parties and people would say, what do you do for a living? i'd sigh -- i'd say i'm on the radio. they would never know. i always -- no one hired me who was number one. and even when i got to sirius, at first advertising budget, then it went away. it occurred to me, only way to get publicity is to have morons
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go out, like during disasters. like during this horrible hurricane, people are losing their lives. some guy gets up there, doing standup on fox 5 and he's like, yes we're here in the middle of the hurricane, thousands have -- some guy creeps behind him and goes "baba booey, howard stern." millions in advertising, i want to thank those guys. right now. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're aware of this, but today on the local cbs news, someone did just that. >> is that right? >> we're in the west village with the mobile weather lab and many people basically using information out of the truck, we pulled the con ed outages map. >> baba booey! howard stern penis! baba booey! >> all right, guys. let's get back to you. >> baba booey! >> it's great. you know, you're an excellent guest by the way.
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>> jimmy: thank you. >> the thing, i think that was joey boots, he's been doing it for years. terrific guy, and he does it with such a fierce, attacking way, i can't help all over america, free advertising. you go on 11:30, abc is not behind you, you better get guys doing this, too. >> jimmy: would you release your army for my benefit? >> jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: i would love that. we'll take a break. will you stick around? >> i'll stick around for the rest of the show. tracy morgan is a genius, he's a funny guy. i'll sit there, i'll make faces, maybe i'll even make out with him. we'll see what happens. >> jimmy: that would be great. >> and when we come back, tracy will be sitting here. i'll -- you sit there -- >> jimmy: that seems like a terrible idea. >> we'll be back from brooklyn.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we're back with the great howard stern. sharon jones and the dap kings still to come. this week, for the first time, our next guest found himself to be only the second-most-dangerous force of nature in the tri-state area. he is an exceptionally funny man whom you can see every thursday on "30 rock" and live november 21st, 23rd & 24th at caroline's here in new york, please welcome tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> i missed you. >> i miss you. >> jimmy: you're wearing a lot of cologne. what kind are you wearing? >> trick of the trade. girls like to stand next to you when you smell good. >> jimmy: what is -- >> you might not get to first base but -- >> jimmy: get close. that's nice. what are you wearing here? >> this is a christmas gift that my family bought me last year with my money. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's very nice of them. >> i said thank you. brooklyn is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] they doing that -- they doing that because i probably owe them money. this is brooklyn. >> jimmy: how are things going with you and the storm? did you lose power?
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>> i tracked sandy. i was tracking sandy. >> jimmy: you were tracking sandy? >> i had normal stuff, weather stuff on top of the stuff. i was tracking sandy. me and my girlfriend got into a big fight. >> jimmy: you did? >> because i'm tracking sandy and she bothering me about beefaroni. i said i'm tracking sandy! i had to know where sandy was because i was doing the ark. >> jimmy: like noah? >> i'm loading up two of god's creatures, two cousins, pancake and cookie d waiting on it. >> jimmy: is that a male and female? pancake and cookie d? >> jimmy: which is the male? >> pancake is the male. they my cousins, you talking like they species. >> what are we talking about again? >> i built an ark. it was hectic because sears and roebucks had closed. so imagine what noah would do, build an ark with no power
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tools? >> jimmy: you had a weird tweet, you said no electricity so i sit lean in my four-cornered room staring at candles. >> that's the beginning of the ghetto boys. "i said hello, sat in the room staring at candles." >> jimmy: you got pets? >> i got sharks and stuff. i got a generator when the lights went out. my power kicked on. >> jimmy: howard used to have sharks. >> i had sharks. i know where you're going with this. happened to me, too. >> bookies? >> my sharks committed suicide. i don't want to bum everyone out. the sharks are supposed to die, who needs them? >> i love sharks. >> i want them all dead. >> i want a great white in my backyard. >> they eat people. >> if i had a billion dollars i would have an orca tank built. >> they eat people, i'm not a big fan. my sharks, the tafrpg wenk went
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so to speak, the ph was off. they all jumped out and died. >> like swimming in pee. >> that's right. >> that ph goes up. i give my -- i got spanish people come over and clean my tanks. >> jimmy: that's what you need. >> you got to get -- >> jimmy: how has your family been throughout this? >> they all right, because when the generator kicked on i said come over, bring the family over. i think people was in my family take a advantage of me, when i you live on 14th floor of the project, you don't got to worry about no water rising. 14th floor, tompkins projects down the block, what you coming to my house for? free food, huh? my aunt in the kitchen cooking, she took over my woman's kitchen, she knows nobody likes her macaroni and cheese. gives off a stench. you like the way i said stench? vincent price used to say stench. >> you getting married again? >> you noi what they called her
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macaroni and cheese? funky cold medina and chicken tastes like wood. i didn't get married. i want to get married again. >> how many times you been married? >> once. that i know of. >> this will be number two? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you're officially engaged? >> yeah, officially engaged. >> jimmy: maybe a double wedding. me and you. >> oh. i'm trying to make a baby, too. >> jimmy: oh, you got do that first. >> yes. in my community you do. that's how we say will you marry me? we use other words, you say, i'll get you pregnant. a lot get pregnant from tracy morgan in my community. >> aren't you afraid women want to have babies with you for the money? >> what will i do with the money? sharks. >> you don't care? no prenuptial agreement? you having a prenuptial -- >> my fetish is sneakers and pornos.
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>> doesn't take a lot to make you happy. >> they likes bags and eyelashes and shoes, i like sneakers and porno. >> jimmy: something to put on the bridal registry. will you have a formal wedding -- >> what is formal? >> jimmy: white dress and tuxedo -- >> i'm wearing a pink tuxedo and blue chuck taylors and green top hat. i'll embarrass her on her wedding day. i'll seize the moment. >> jimmy: it's -- >> she's going to remember this wedding day, in case the marriage goes bad she have something to remember by. i'm telling you this storm came out of nowhere. new york never have no hurricanes. this got republicans written all over it. this got romney written all over it. they knew what they doing. [ cheers and applause ] are we close to the election? they try to suppress the latino vote. they have a lot of hurricanes in puerto rico.
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they know latinos are scared of hurricanes. we live on the 14th floor of the projects. >> jimmy: tracy morgan, you see him on "30 rock" on thursdays -- >> no, no, this week we on wednesday, just for this week. >> jimmy: because of the hurricane? >> nbc told me to tell you that and they putting something extra in my check. >> jimmy: and he's live november 21st, 23rd, and 24th at caroline's here in new york. tracy morgan, howard stern. when we come back music from tracy morgan, howard stern. when we come back music from sharon jones & the dap-kings.
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>> jimmy: you're about to see a great band from right here in brooklyn, their latest cd is called "soul time!" here with the song "he said i can" sharon jones and the dap-kings. ♪ ♪ there ain't nobody can take away the pain i said nobody can take away the pain ♪ ♪ after where i've been i'll never love again and then i found me a man he took me by the hand ♪ ♪ he looked into my heart and he said i can yes he said he said i can ♪
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♪ he said i can he said i can he said i can ♪ he said he could love me ♪ ♪ like nobody will said he'd take me out of the valley up to the top of the hill ♪ ♪ he said he'd lift all my burdens and make my load a little lighter ♪ ♪ and if i wanted to know he would even take me higher ♪ he said i can ♪ ♪ he said i can ♪ he said i can he said i can ♪
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♪ he said he could love me like nobody will ♪ he said he would take me out of the valley and to the top of the hill ♪ said he would lift my burden and make my load a little lighter ♪ ♪ and if i wanted to know he could take me even higher oh he said i can ♪ ♪ he said i can ♪ he said i can ♪ he said i can

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